Maybe Hell Froze Over


Two weeks ago, I attended my first yoga class.

Now, before I say anything else, I’ll give you some historical information: For as long as I can remember, my neck, jaw, and shoulders have felt like garbage. Sore constantly. Soreness that leads to headaches, that lead to migraines, etc. Basically, I’ve felt the twinge of a migraine mixed in with a full-blown migraine a day or so a month-particularly around the first day of my period. Although I’m big, I’ve always considered myself weak, unable to lift anything very heavy, and just kind of a general bum. I don’t like working out, or exercise. I’ve been content to eat what I want, because food is awesome. I’ve yo-yo’ed back and forth on some variation of a low-carb diet for over a decade, and failed, because, like I said…Food is awesome. And I have been pretty down in the dumps, feeling like crap, and, well, generally terrible for years. And I’m not talking like, a year or two…I’m talking YEARS.

I’m also kind of (okay, maybe very much) a fuddy-duddy who thumbs her nose at all of this “yoga crap”, and thinks it’s all a (I’m being very honest here) bunch of shit. That is, until I bought an Amazon deal on a whim. I was just feeling THAT bad. Everything was bad: my attitude, my habits, the way I felt about myself. It was so bad, that I was crazy enough to think that this bullshit, hippie yoga thing might actually be something I was willing to try.

And guess what?

I love yoga.

I’m making it a priority to get there. And I can tell when I haven’t been for a couple of days, because the familiar tenseness and pain creeps into my neck and shoulders…

But when I go often, that pain is gone. Really.

And it has helped me to feel better about myself. And calmer. And stronger. I am nicer. I don’t hold my face in a pinched, angry way all. day. long. these days.

I started my period today, and with no extra medication taken, I don’t have a headache. This hasn’t happened in eons, even with a daily migraine preventative.

Within days of going, I felt the desire to start eating differently. I have been counting calories and losing weight, slowly…steadily. I have a great friend helping me who has been on her own journey. I’m so happy to have her knowledge and friendship as I navigate this new territory (it’s awesome).

I am happier and feel freer than I have in years. And I am just thankful.

I write this for no purpose other than this: Should I ever get in another rut (and I will-I am human), I want to come back and read this and know that on this day, I was happy, and these were the things I was doing, and how I got there. And I want written assurance to that future person that she can go back to feeling good again.


About Laura

"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit." -e.e. cummings
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7 Responses to Maybe Hell Froze Over

  1. annaholler says:

    Excellent, friend. I am so proud of you. I think about our conversations in the past and compare them to our conversations now and can’t believe the transformation in both of us. LIke you said, you’re human. You’ll have your bad days. Truly accepting that they are a part of life is the challenge. I am glad that you wrote this to remind yourself of how good you feel. Keep up with the yoga. The physical relief will make you want to eat better, in the same way being lethargic makes you want to eat worse. They are cycles. The one that you are in is very healthy. xoxo

    • Laura says:

      I could not have done this without you. Really!! I am very thankful for your guidance & friendship through everything. We are totally separated at birth, girl!

  2. I’m proud of you! I’m glad that yoga has helped you so much, and that you love it!

    You inspired me to sign up for an 8 week beginner’s yoga class. I’ve wanted to try it for a long time, but was too scared. But I definitely need to do something to help me relieve stress.

  3. annaholler says:

    Hey Jess, the girls and I used to go to a place in Philly called yoga child. They had a class for mama’s called “The 4th trimester.” I wonder if you have something like that around you?

  4. Yoga is awesome. I had to stop for a lot of reasons, and maybe when Piper’s older and schedule allows, I’ll go back. I’m glad you love it, and I’m glad the pain has lessened as a result! Hooray! p.s. you will need lots of yoga to prep for LTYM! 😉

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